Shall we discuss The Truth about turmoil in a human being’s life?
No “ways to deal with” it.
No “what you should do.”
No “what you should say.”
No “put yourself in the other person’s shoes.”
No “be compassionate.”
No “act your age.”
No “be kind.”
No “take a deep breath.”
No “take five minutes to calm down.”
No “what happened in your childhood.”
Very well. What is The Truth about turmoil in our lives?
I will give it to you straight.
So straight in fact that you will feel as if I have omitted something.
Here it is:
The reason that we have turmoil in our lives is because we do not Understand.
No fireworks went off, did they?
No light bulbs went off, right?
No halos appeared.
No bright and shining light appeared in your third eye.
And the reason that none of this happened is because I gave it to you Too straight.
I gave it to you Too simply.
Let’s get to the heart of this critical matter.
A matter so critical, in fact, that it is the Root Cause of all the turmoil in our lives.
What do I mean when I say that we do not Understand?
Imagine that you are sitting in a large backup on the highway. As the clock ticks, your frustration grows. Anger and impatience visibly rise within you.
Turmoil has arrived within you.
Now imagine that a police officer comes to you and says, “Sir, I know that this is causing you a grave inconvenience, but there has been a big accident half a mile up the road. An elderly gentleman has lost his life. And his niece is trapped in the car. At this very moment, the Jaws Of Life are hard at work extricating her from the vehicle. I promise to have you on your way as soon as I possibly can.”
Suddenly, your turmoil vanishes into thin air.
Frustration and anger has been replaced by compassion and thoughts of good will for the victims.
Because you Understood.
And this Understanding instantly took away all of your turmoil.
Imagine a child who acts out. A child who is emotionally combative. Who is sometimes disrespectful to her parents.
This parent and child have lived in conflict for years.
The parent has come to have a certain image of his child. The image that he harbors of his child is that she is disrespectful and combative and enjoys giving a hard time to her parents.
For as long as the child’s behavior persists, the parent’s image of the child also persists. And thus conflict is never far away.
Imagine that one day, the child comes to her father, and says,
“Daddy, I know that you think of me as disrespectful. I realize that I haven’t been easy to deal with. But I’m ready to tell you The Truth. Because until now, even I didn’t know The Truth. Daddy, since I was a little girl I’ve always wanted to please you. I wanted you to be proud of me. I wanted you to look at me as the person you’ve always wanted. And from my sports matches to my school work, the thing that I’ve wanted more than anything else in my life is for you to look at me with eyes of Overwhelming Approval.
That you were satisfied that I had turned out to be the person that you could tell the entire world about. I’ve never felt this from you. I’ve always felt like I’ve never been good enough. And this One Thing is the source of all of my emotional pain. And this emotional pain is the reason that I have behaved the way that I have.”
For any father in the world, this type of Understanding would immediately destroy the false image that he has harbored for his child for so many years. And replace that image with one of a Decent and Lovely Human Being.
The father’s turmoil has suddenly vanished.
And compassion fills his heart.
Without doing anything at all.
Simply by having Understood.
You see, my friend, we get angry because we do not Understand.
We have conflict, because we do not Understand.
We do not Understand the Situation at hand.
We do not see The Truth in all its dimensions.
The question that haunts me is the same question that is at the Very Heart of all of my Exploration.
That question is: What Is It That I Have Not Yet Understood?
The only possible way for any human being to feel turmoil is through a lack of Understanding.
Please be clear. By “understanding,” I do not mean to “show understanding.”
That is a Prescription. That is cosmetic behavior modification. It is not Real. It is not True.
To Understand is to Understand the situation at hand.
To see through the fog.
To see Clearly what precisely is at the root of the issue.
To Understand is to be Immune to turmoil.
This is at the very heart of my Teachings.
And far more importantly, this is at the very heart of my Learnings.